People suck. My bowling doesn’t.

My scores tonight: 125, 150, 214. I really do enjoy bowling and I wasn’t sure about joining a league because it’s a lot of bowling, it’s not cheap on weekly and membership fees and it’s weekly committment for a few months. But I ended up having a good time, meeting some great people and on occasion winning some money. However in each league I’ve generally observed the worst of “my people” being gay men, though not really my people as these are generally entitled white gay men who really don’t see the world outside their surburban homes, expensive city condos, high paying jobs, and gay bars. We’ve dealt with league members that are racist, sexist, and if there’s an extra level of sexism for gay men that don’t like women, straight or gay–them too.

I’m bowling, as usual, with my best friend who is currently transitioning from (already pretty butch) female to male. A previous week, when he was in the bathroom, another league member saw him in there (given how we both feel about the state of public restrooms, he was likely only in there to wash his hands) and decided to tell the league officers that my friend’s presence made him uncomfortable. Perhaps it did, I’m not judging. The league officers meet about it and make a decision on the matter, without notifying my friend in advance. Tonight they tell him that he will be using the accessible restroom (unisex). The worst part is he was told that if he were further along in his transition, it would probably be ok. And that was that, no real discussion, a few weak apologies, but to them that’s the end of the matter.

I’m just disgusted by it, it irks me that they don’t see how this is discriminating against my friend and totally unfair, not to mention a pretty horrid way of running things. The jury’s still out on whether I’m going to continue bowling there. The way I feel right now, I’m done with ’em.

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3 Responses

  1. Kyle says:

    That is just terrible. I do not understand gay men sometime. You would think that being discriminated against, they would be more understanding. But very rarely does that occur. They deeply need an education.

  2. Brian says:

    They do need an education, true. But I think I’m just too old to teach people. I just want to go and have fun each week and with one uneducated choice, they’ve made it very not-fun. And my friend and I agreed — Why does it always have to be us that make the extra effort? It infuriates me that members of a minority so easily discriminate and don’t even see it!

  3. Kyle says:

    Well, I’d say screw them, and don’t go back. But I would – imho – send them a finely worded letter of explanation. Maybe they won’t learn from it, but just maybe one of them will.

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