Food: Eggs Benedict and Bottomless Mimosas? Heaven!

A City Desk blog entry that caught my eye a few weeks ago seemed more like an audition piece for why.i.hate.dc. It was on the subject of brunch in D.C.:

I must admit I don’t get brunch. In fact, I loathe it. Whenever I am asked if I would like to go to brunch in D.C. on a Sunday I say no thank you, but what I am thinking is: Fuck no.

The rest of the entry is much along the same lines–the writer doesn’t care for D.C. Brunch Culture. I recall thinking that I disagree, but that the concept of brunch in D.C. is a little flawed. During a very fun blogger meet-up last night–more about that later–the topic of where to find a good breakfast/brunch in D.C. came up and I recall thinking that a lot of places in town get the concept of brunch very wrong. Some people automatically think that breakfast + weekend = brunch and that’s not really how I see it. Breakfast to me is only a long meal when I’m staying in with family and friends, where brunch is the same thing just moved outside and closer to late morning/early afternoon, often with booze.

I admit that I prefer going out to breakfast on the weekends. I typically get up early and am ready to get my day going. Most weekend mornings I could cook something, but it will usually be something small, but other times I like grabbing a book, heading out to a nice place and settling into a large breakfast–that someone else brings me. Breakfast is something I’m fine sharing with others or not, it’s not big deal. It’s a significantly different meal to me than brunch. And since I’m usually going between 8 and 10am, there’s rarely a line, few other people and very little noise. That, for me, is one of the best ways to enjoy a little coffee, some food, and something to read while you get set for your day.

Brunch, as I said, is completely different. It’s something that I enjoy having with other people, a little later in the day, perhaps after you’ve slept in or slept off your drinking. Sadly, because of the standard “later hour” for brunch, you’re going to run into crowds. Partly because everyone likes to sleep in, but mostly it seems, because people don’t cook. There are times that I wonder if they even know how to feed themselves if it isn’t brought to them. That might explain why they’re willing to stand in long lines, clearly hungry all the while, to sit down and then wait long times for table service. Not that say that all restaurants are slow at brunch, but most of them simply don’t have enough staff on the floor or in the kitchen to keep up with the massive crowds.

Brunch is also easier to get people to rouse themselves up for. Trying to get together earlier in the day is going to get a lot of “running late” calls and a massive amount of disinterest. But even with the later time of day there’s still no pressure to look great, sweats are acceptable, bedhead is fine, hangovers welcome! And as everyone knows, the gays love their brunch. For me, brunch with a bunch of guys feels like a catered picnic in the warmer seasons. You get to sit outside and chat and laugh for a while, and usually you get a great floor show of cute guys walking past. Even if your food doesn’t arrive quickly, your drink is always refilled and it’s a great time. In the colder months, eating inside is like the Bizarro-dinner party. The sun is up, no one’s dressed up, no one had to bring anything or do any work, and the conversation is usually anything but witty and yet it’s still a great time.

Not everyone is keen on brunch, and I accept that. What’s hardest to accept is that one of my goddesses in the pantheon of Domestic Divas doesn’t like brunch! Amy Sedaris has strong feelings about it that she covered in her recent book:

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Out to Brunch

I don’t like brunch. Brunch is a combination of breakfast and lunch. I could never date somebody who was into brunch, that’s a deal breaker. I don’t like the ceremony attached to brunch. Brunch requires me to gather in the early afternoon or late morning with other people so we can talk while we eat a big meal and then when it’s over, what? I’m stuffed, I’m talked out, I’m tired and lazy as if all my bones left my body and it’s not even one o’clock in the afternoon. I like looking forward to dinner, and a lunchtime breakfast burrito or a heaping helping of huevos rancheros robs me of that. People who normally like to drink during the day love brunch because they can drink and not hide it. With brunch, they don’t have to be embarrassed about being soused in the middle of the afternoon.

Ah well, I still enjoy brunch, though I think I might start investing in some sweatpants. The main thing that keeps me inside cooking on weekend mornings/afternoons is that I don’t need to wear pants. 😛

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