idiots: a reason for red-light cameras

t-shirt: No Bitch Ass Ness

The first time I saw this shirt around the neighborhood, I nearly lost my shit cracking up. A little research shows that it had only existed for a few months prior to that sighting. I didn’t know exactly what it meant, but it was pretty easy to figure out.* I was tempted to get one, but I didn’t think it would be permissible to wear it at the proper size for my body. Every person I’ve seen wearing one has done the “big t-shirt” thing making it more of a nightshirt than anything else. And that baggy/puffy/layered style is just a little too urban for me.

After this morning, I think I’d like to get this printed up in a sticker that I can use to tag things. Things like asshole drivers’ cars. 😈 My nearest intersection is a staggered light because southbound traffic has a left-turn lane. Pedestrians know when the northbound light turns red, there’s maybe 20 more seconds before we get the signal to cross. Some people start out ½-way across, but smarter people stay on the curb.

While waiting to cross, I heard–through my music–the squealing of an obsessive lane-changer coming from the northbound side, careening towards… a red light. Thankfully the car stopped, sort of, at the red light but kept inching forward and then the inching turned into “I’ve taken my foot off the brake,” and became rolling. All this towards a red light. She was making a right on red, but still, the pedestrians had the right of way. When we got the walk signal, she just ignored all of us and whipped into a right turn. This wouldn’t have been so bad except that we didn’t really think she would run us over and had already started to cross. A few people smacked her SUV and some yelled, but through the window I could see that she wasn’t even paying any attention. She took off down the street with more squealy-lane-changes, completely ignorant of the nearly-near-death experience she’d just given to 5 pedestrians while we all looked at each other, mostly in disbelief, partly in shock.

Fuckin’ drivers… Maryland driver, this time.** I don’t hate all drivers or driving, but damn y’all. Would it kill some of you to pay a little more attention to the road? Y’know, instead of almost killing us. 😐

* I still haven’t watched the video detailing its first use on air because even 60 seconds of Making the Band is more than I can handle without my eyes bleeding.

** Which of our two neighboring states has the reputation for being the worst drivers? I can never remember if it’s just one, or if MD and VA just call each other out all the time.

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5 Responses

  1. Mazzie says:

    I’ve seriously, seriously considered making up “asshole” stickers for just that reason. I imagine putting them on cars that park in crosswalks or creep into them, and on people as I step to the right on the escalator to pass them, or on people screaming into their cellphones on the metro … really, the possibilities are endless.

    Maybe we could come up with a symbol that would be the universal sign for asshole, and go into production. We could savor some time “in the know” while people displayed them proudly in their ignorance.

  2. Brian says:

    Funny, I’ve always thought red-light cameras only exist to generate revenues for Lockheed Martin.

    latest entry: Swallow_Doretti: @michaelbanovsky Or, in other words, GM is losing $58,333…a minute:

  3. I almost got run over by some jerkfuckasshole yesterday walking home from Giant. He gunned it — lucky for him! — because I was about to throw a can of Hormel chili at his fucking BMW.

    latest entry: BSG 4×18 – “Deadlock”

  4. Kyle says:

    Twice while living in NE I was nearly hit by people who were absolutely breaking the law, turning left! against the light/stop sign, and I only saved my life by jumping out of the way. I do believe some people have so internalized Grand Theft Auto, that RT pedestrians are nothing other than obstacles to them.

    That being said, I think every damned person in the District, drivers and pedestrians, are so busy trying to get to their destinations that they have no regard whatsoever for the people around them, and routinely cause problems. In Adams-Morgan, Columbia Heights and Mt. Pleasant I’ve noticed that pedestrians routinely walk into intersections against the light, with no regard to oncoming traffic. Everyone needs to pay attention, and think about more than just themselves.

    latest entry: we tripped the light fandango

  1. August 10, 2011

    […] Admittedly, the public transportation options aren’t always the best or reliable, but due to its “tri-state” nature, the DMV has a lot of cars all the time trying to share1 the roads with cyclists–and on occasion the crosswalks with pedestrians. […]

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