ads: singing for your supper?

In the long-standing TV advertising tradition of white guy rappers* comes a new Taco Bell commercial that is a sequel, of sorts, to the 89¢ rap for Stephanie ad:

Though I’ll admit, I only thought it was kinda cute until the line, “the Taco Bell girl just owned you,” totally sold it. Mostly because they didn’t try to use or pronounce pwnd, pwned or pwnt and also because it was 100% correct usage of the term.

This is in no way an endorsement of Taco Bell, unless Taco Bell wants to send me a bunch of free stuff. In which case, we are open to negotiation. Providing you build a proper Taco Bell in the District and not another of those weird mélange of KFC, Pizza Hut, Taco Bell things. It’s bad enough having to seek out sober-up vittles late at night without the added insult of having to patronize an eatery with something akin to multiple personality disorder with quality of food to match.**

In other news, I didn’t get the apartment I was looking at. When they pulled my credit history, they were more interested in what happened in the past than what’s true in the present. My history does look bad, but all of the accounts are paid off in full and anyone with half a brain could see that. Of course if thinking were their forté, they probably wouldn’t be in real estate. So an old gripe of mine, context matched against content, comes back around. I’ll be better prepared for the next application, I’d just forgotten how much non-packing/pavement pounding work was involved in the process.

Even so, when I browsed craigslist this past Friday, I saw that the unit had been relisted three times since I applied, so I was fairly sure that my application had been rejected. So on the bright (evil) side, it’s clear that when they said there had been a lot of interest in the place, they either were blowing smoke up my bum or no one has met their very high standards for a prospective tenant and the poor owner is gonna have to keep paying on that mortgage until they do. La pauvre petite copropriétaire 😈

I shouldn’t be all that bothered since I haven’t been faced with a move-out date yet and I know I have time. So let’s just hope my dream apartment can wait a little while longer for me to find it!

* What’s up with that? Because it’s against the norm? Feels safer? Or maybe it’s just endearingly pathetic like Snow†, Vanilla Ice or Marky Mark?

** No offense meant to anyone that suffers from multiple personality disorder.‡ Really. I think United States of Tara is hilarious.

† Ok, that was unfair, I kinda liked Informer . The line a licky boom-boom down speaks of an untold wisdom that would be impossible to convey in any other way…

‡ Sorry. Per the DSM, I mean dissociative identity disorder.

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5 Responses

  1. Kyle says:

    1. I second your kudos for the correct usage of “owned” by the white children – very effective.

    2. Ever since the second season of The Venture Brothers, Taco Bell® has forever been associated in my mind with Dr. Byron Orpheus. The creators of this particular web page deserve high praise for inducing in me a particularly violent and ongoing laugh-gasm, complete with tears.

    latest entry: walkabout weekend

  2. Kyle says:

    3. I think the masterminds behind Taco Bell and KFC know their demographic. I mean, if I WEREN’T a vegetarian, and I WERE high, I’d want spicy chicken strips and a Nachos Bell Grande and Buddha knows what else, all at the same time. I bet they do a bang-up business in college towns.

    latest entry: walkabout weekend

  3. brian says:

    @Kyle: That’s it, we’re going to Mama Ayesha’s so you can rap for your supper.

  4. Kyle says:

    OMG!!! Mujadarah!

    latest entry: walkabout weekend

  5. shindo says:

    Oh boy, that is so much fun for one morning. That is truly funny. Now if pop culture will stop inflicting the Vanilla Ices or Eminems on us. Thankfully, Marky Mark would much rather forget about that chapter in his life.

    As for the moving, best of luck in finding that fab place. I’m sure you’ll find one soon.

    latest entry: I’m sorry. I’m really sorry…

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