you are cordially not invited

Just a little something that came up throughout the weekend… This is a very social season, so it’s expected that there are a lot of parties going on, all the time. And of course not everyone is going to be invited to every event, nor should they expect to be simply by virtue of knowing the host(s) or being in the broad circle of friends.

This refers to my ongoing thoughts of thinking about what you say before you say it. It is one thing to say to someone “I’ll see you this weekend.” But it’s quite another to go into details of an upcoming party or get-together around people that haven’t been invited. It puts them in a bit of a conversational void, they either remain silent having nothing to contribute, or they are forced to ask about the event (which is sometimes what is being passively-aggressively indicated). I’ve been the odd man out before, I’ve had someone want to discuss details of a party they assumed I was invited to (this is why public evite guests lists are a good thing) and I’ve seen people smile politely when the topic of a party comes up and you can see the look that says “Do I ask, or just let it go?”

Of course it’s never intentional, that’d be pretty petty and sophomoric if it were. But regardless of knowing the rules and etiquette for every situation, I always keep this in my mind, the purpose of manners is to make the other person(s) comfortable. A faux pas is sometimes unavoidable, but generally my mind is working harder on what’s coming out of my mouth than the foot is on making its way into it. Plus, knowing a lot of introverts (myself included), I like to see everyone included or at least given the opportunity to contribute, if possible.

Not really a rant, not really directed at any individuals, just thoughts coming out — your monkeys may vary.

In other news… I still don’t see any snow! *hmph*

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3 Responses

  1. MiKe says:

    that same thing happened over the weekend, friends of friends were talking about the x-mass party that invitations were sent out months in advance for, which i didn’t get… the conversation went on for 15 good minutes before i excused myself to get drunkmore wine and fatcranberry cheese.

  2. Brian says:

    I am positive most people don’t mean to do it and honestly have no idea. It doesn’t keep someone from feeling like crap for just a hair of a second.

    Mmm, cheesy wine.

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