September thus Far? Not too Bad!
Look out, it’s another stray thoughts post. I’m trying not to beat myself up about writing here regularly, though my Twitch stream sign off contains a link to my most recent blog post and sometimes I do notice when it’s been a few weeks.
Honestly, September’s been pretty good so far. Sometimes I get a little moody because of birthday feelings, but state of the city, nation and world aside, I’m doing ok. Not great, but ok. And most days, that’s enough.
Fuck-Cancer-Versary
I am thankfully several years from having to deal with cancer anymore, treatments or check ups, so the fact that I have a Cancerversary near the end of August usually takes me by surprise. But this year I tried to take advantage as best I could because it fell over a weekend, so there was some pushing myself to get out and about.
I didn’t get to do everything I wanted because of timing, but I went to some brunches, enjoyed some cocktails, sort of engaged with people again. It was nice. A fun way to start September, and to realize that when it comes to imbibing? I am out of practice, wow. Which I should probably be proud of for both my wallet and my liver, but I do miss the old party days every now and then.
What I don’t miss is wondering how I made it home, waking up feeling like a wrung out sponge and wondering what crawled into my mouth and died, so… I’ll take a bit more care in enjoying my carousing from here on out. 😅
Plans are Great, I Love Plans
A bit of a professional and personal rant, really. So many people are bad at plans. Not making them, because that’s usually done with the best of intentions and highest aspirations. But actually executing the plan? Less so.
There’s a major gaming convention, took place the end of last month. I couldn’t go, processed my FOMO, and did what I usually do in such cases: muted all mention of it on social media. But on the Friday of the week before the con, I got an email from the PR folks behind the convention, wondering if I’d be interest in co-streaming one or more streamed panels. I replied immediately, “Yes, send me more details! This is great because I had FOMO, etc.”
And when I say immediately, I mean within 10 minutes of getting the email. So then I wait… and wait… and as it moved into the next week–with less than a week before the event–I was getting ever so slightly more professionally peeved at the radio silence.
I get it, things happen, and there are a lot of moving pieces leading up to a major event. But when I haven’t heard back for 5 or 6 days, my assumption is that they chose other people for the opportunity and I make no plans to rearrange my schedule. Because what professional outlet would send a streamer the info they need to arrange social media posts, plan content, and set up a stream with less than a day or so’s notice before the event starts?
…
So you probably don’t need to guess that that’s exactly what happened, right?
I sent a very polite, “Not sure if I’ll be able to participate, but I will if I can!” and that was after I’d already planned my Cancerversary cavorting, so odds were not likely.
The annoying thing here is the expectation that content creators, streamers, influencers, etc. are just on-demand like that. As though we only exist in some strange liminal space where we’re supposed to always be ready to jump on an opportunity with a special stream, 10-point detailed social media plan, and related cosplay, even if the people offering it appear to ghost us for a week. And there are some opportunities I’ve never heard back from. At some point I got tired of sending follow up messages and can no longer be bothered. 😒
To bring it back to the personal part of this, which is simple: when it comes to plans with friends, basically don’t do any of the above stuff either.
It’s on my mind as we’re approaching PAX Unplugged because there are tons of us in the TTRPG space in Philly over the weekend, while at the same time having our own obligations, panels, events, convention time, chill out time, etc. while also wanting to spend time with our friends.
I try not to be flaky. If I’m available to meet, I’ll let you know. If I’m not feeling the plans, I’ll also let you know. If I’m a “definite maybe,” I’ll let you know! Plans ahead of time are great, plans in the moment are less so, but still doable. What’s frustrating is again the underlying assumption that things will just work out because we’re all in the same place for a few days.
It’s not a Hallmark holiday movie, there are tens of thousands of people attending the convention. And while the TTRPG and Actual Play space feels small, that’s still a LOT of nerds taking up space–and tables, and bar seats, and any available seating to be honest.
If we’re just “meeting up,” as we cross paths around the convention, that’s fine. I walk fast and slip through crowds, it’s not hard for me to get from place to place. And I have “Field Trip Parent” senses, I can easily find my friends.
But… if we have plans, you’re going to get an annoyingly detailed livestream of messages from me with ETA, location, landmarks, and ETA again until the “I’m here.” And I’d love folks to match that energy at times. Because we get distracted, we see other friends, we get lost, we stop to rest our feet, and while we’re stopped for that little break, we see more friends, etc.
If we say we’re meeting someplace, stay there. If you have to move on from that place, tell me. If our meeting place needs to change, hit me up. If you made better plans in the interim, it’s shitty, but at least tell me. If we’re going someplace together, don’t leave without me.
That last one earned an ex an ear-blistering tirade from me when I turned around in a bar to find they had vanished, then I headed outside to see that they were already a block away heading to the next planned spot… they just forgot to mention it to me at the time.
I think of people and groups at a convention like trying to plot the orbits of planetary bodies and figure out when they align, except that people can check in and actively change our course, and some people don’t do that. And that’s frustrating, and no one likes herding cats. So if I vanish–especially around mealtime–it’s because the plan vibes were wibbly-wobbly and I got hangry. 💖
A Fitness Influencer? Moi?
Ending this on an amusing note, my daily walk videos are being noticed. In that I’m getting a lot more email outreach from people who think I’m a fitness influencer and that’s really weird.
@urbanbohemian_ Late Summer weather, make up your mind! (And stay like this, please.) 🙏🏾 Happy Monday, y’all! #goodmorning #goodvibes #exercise #fitness #walking ♬ original sound – urbanbohemian
It’s my own fault because my “5 hashtags” for them are: good morning, good vibes, exercise, walking & fitness. So I’m probably getting caught up in their searches for tagged videos with a certain level of engagement. But it’s hilarious because I can’t imagine my short videos from a daily 2-mile walk would have anyone consider me a fitness influencer.
I mentioned on social media, when I do daily video or picture posts, it’s mostly so that my family gets to see my face regularly. (Especially with what’s up in DC lately.) We’re not really the FaceTime type.
So I don’t think I’m the one to help promote lifestyle wear, or arrange a package holiday “for my followers” or push this or that new protein whatever.
That said, if Paramount wants to send me some Star Trek-themed workout gear, I wear a size L. Especially that one with DISCO on it, or RITOS, I’m not picky. You can send both! 😏
It is Star Trek Day, after all. 🖖🏾
Whether you’re boldly going out to enjoy the late Summer, or discovering a new life of staying indoors and preparing cozy times for Fall, I hope it’s going well for you out there.
