… termites …

People are crawling out of the woodwork lately. Guys I thought I might have been dating that dropped off the face of the earth. Guys I went on one date with, that subsequently dropped off the face of the earth (after saying the usual, “We should definitely do this again, I’d like that.”). It’s odd. And as usual, they’re acting like I’m the best thing since a therapist holding sliced bread, and I have to listen to their problems.

The one guy John, I went to dinner with (Lebanese, my fave) and we had a good time, so I thought. So when things are over I honestly say that I’d like to see him again, and I thought he was sincere about it too. I never heard from him again. Barely an e-mail or an IM and never a phone call. So I just let it drop, I was disappointed, but not much you can do. He IM’d me recently barely asking how I was, then asking me, “Do you think I’m ugly?” Apparently he’d had a really bad experience and it left him feeling down and depressed. So then, after this bad experience, who do you go talk to? Ah yes, the guy you had a date with and never called back. Sounds like the perfect person to me.

And then there’s Kev. You remember him, flowers to the office, cheesecake for Valentine’s Day. He sends me a message out of the blue as well. Much of the same, I’ve been down, things haven’t been going well kind of thing. I give the best advice I can, all the while wondering if he realizes how rude it is to be asking for “how do I get my life back together” advice from someone that really cared for you while you returned none of their feelings. Even moreso, we got into discussions about “us”, where quite frankly, I let him know that he dropped the ball. (not to mention that he had sex with someone else not even a week after Valentine’s Day, not that we had any sort of committment, but still it’s not a fun thing to know when you find it out from a website and not directly).

I know, quite pompously so *grin*, that I’m a nice person and that I got more than a few extra good hearted vibes, but it’s really hard to pull back from my personal feelings when people come to me for help, and to not just fight the impulse that says, “You hurt me, fuck you and I don’t give a fuck about your personal problems anymore.” Yeah, I know.. I’m a doormat.

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