emotional day planner

Last month I sent word around to some people that I haven’t actively* hung out with all summer about an upcoming event, some of which made me feel as if I needed to do some kind of penance to restore things to normal, and got little to no response.

Last weekend I ended up with an overall feeling of disappointment coming from both friends and someone I think I’m supposed to be romantically involved with and out of it all I was made to feel that it was my fault that I was not clear enough in stating what the plans were or should have been.

Last night I received an invitation from a couple I haven’t heard from all summer long, an evite asking that people come over this coming weekend to help them paint and renovate.

I’m not sure I want to flip ahead and see what I have on tap for tomorrow. It’s just a month shy of my birthday, last year I was freaking out planning a party and trying to find a place to put about 20 people and all the fun social stuff that comes with that. This year I am so far from such worries, it’s almost funny. Feels like in the year since the theme has gone from this to this. I’m still working out how I feel about that, things have a natural rhythm, things end, but it also seems that things end before their time when they’re meant to be sustained by the energy of two instead of just one.

Well… at least the temperature’s dropping.

* as opposed to passively hanging out when you both happen to attend/see each other at events planned by neither of you