so much to say

Hm, so much to say and not a word appropriate to do it with… I wish I had a cord that would go from my brain to the computer, much easier to just dump the thoughts out that way.

Been talking to David in nyc, and we’re attempting to figure out just what there is between us, whether we should attempt the visit and even then, if we would consider the long distance thing. I just don’t want a weekend visit to turn into Shag-Fest 2003 as so many of the internet romances can be. Plus there are the considerations of someone being great in correspondence and the phone and meeting them in person and being.. not so turned on anymore. And there’s the horrific trip I had for New Year’s a few years back with that boy in Chelsea, but I was young and stupid and naive. That was pretty much a hookup dressed up as a “sure, why don’t you come visit me?” I wish he’d just said he was looking for a nice easy out of town fuck with no complications as I’d be leaving in a day or two. I can get with that, but frankly, not travelling from Delaware to New York for the first time. But David and I are so far talking about things openly, expectations and the like. I’m sure when/if we do decide to try the visit thing, everything will be out in the open enough that we won’t be rushing into it like puppy love, and we won’t be so critical and analytical of each other and things that we ruin it before it has a chance.

Otherwise there’s a drinks and possible movie date with Joseph this Tuesday evening, not sure what he’s about but we met through the matching feature of and he seems nice enough. I don’t know that our personalities align enough. Talking to him on the phone is at times easy and at others I wonder if he’s thinking “what a doofus” on the other end. Then again, I wonder that about everyone, even talking to Lindsay or my mom or the realtor, etc.

currently listening to: Brand New Heavies, “Dream on Dreamer”

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