Cute Ballot and Pencil say, “Vote!”

Let's all go to the polls!

A little retro touch on this year’s November voting guide from the District. I could almost imagine that little ballot and pencil singing a cute little ditty until I read that you complete us crap.

And as a few people around the net have stated–Hello, Negro and Mr. T in DC among them–within the first few pages the guide reminds you of the election law that may become an issue this year. Basically, leave your political candidate t-shirts, pins, paraphernalia at home, in your bags, covered up, etc. Showing up to the polls in your stylish Obama tee or with McCain/Palin tattooed on your forehead will cause problems in DC and Virginia. The current law is that you’ll be asked to remove the items or cover them up, but why take chances on an overzealous poll worker or security guard? The only similar restrictions in Maryland are for poll/election-related workers and volunteers.

This seems like a no-brainer to me, you’re not just showing support, you’re campaigning… inside the polling station. And while I was surprised at how many voters were still undecided by the time the debates had rolled around, if you think you’re going to sway someone on the 4th, you’re fooling yourself. David Sedaris has this to say about undecided voters:

To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. “Can I interest you in the chicken?” she asks. “Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it?”

To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked.

That’s a wall of ignorance you simply ain’t gonna break through.

Also, thinking about the illustration they used, that cute little anthropomorphized ballot is asking you to take a sharp pencil and draw all over it to express yourself. That ballot is a nasty pig and a dirty whore… I like that! 😈

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13 Responses

  1. kyle says:

    Wow, that entry sure took a turn at the end. More of the ichor of your psyche leaking out? See, this is why I hang out with folks like you and Paul. Next to you guys, I look like a holy innocent. It’s refreshing to feel good again.

  2. brian says:

    @kyle: I would more say that your hanging out with us only reflects your desire to be and feel more depraved. Being too much of a wuss to express those thoughts and feelings on your own, you thrive our our second-hand snark. That makes you the worst one of all! :mrgreen:

  3. Moose says:

    I remember this rule from when I ran for ANC. I, of course, was wearing a “Moose for 1D02” sticker and every time I went inside for the loo or what not, I had to cover it over with my hand so as not to get in trouble with the election judges. Since I was the candidate, it was pretty clear I was electioneering, after all.

    However, I also remember candidates sticking stickers on folks right by the door before they walked in, and that seeming to be okay somehow. I think they’ve gotten more strict with it in the intervening years since 2002. Or maybe they’re just pickier in a Presidential election year.

  4. brian says:

    @Moose: I definitely think, for many reasons, they’re pickier with this election. I don’t really recall quite the level of “liberal fashion” in past years as I’ve seen with displaying the Obama (and also Hillary) colors this time around. I’m not sure what restrictions other states have, but I feel that it’s for the best if people save their personal politics for filling in ballots and tapping screens behind the curtain.

    My standard response to “Who are you voting for?” still remains “None of your damn business.”

  5. William Mize says:

    They should be singing like those drive-in theater intermission refreshments.
    “Let’s all go to the lobby, let’s all go to the lobby…”

  6. shindo says:

    I wonder if parents are allowed to bring children named after candidates to the polls, such as baby Sarah McCain Palin, is out of the question. That could be considering electioneering too.

    I’m jealous. You guys have a cute ballot. Nothing like that in San Diego county.

  7. Esprix says:

    On the one hand, I see the reasoning behind this, but on the other, I think it stretches it a bit to apply it to people voting, as opposed to people working the polling place or actively campaigning (outside) for a candidate.

    I dunno. Typical Libra – I’m of two minds.

  8. kyle says:

    When I was a little kid in a small town in Texas, I went with my Dad when he went to vote at the courthouse. At the door of the courthouse was a pile of cards, looking like a paper snowdrift. The cards were from the various candidates for the various electable offices. “Vote for Joe Smith” type things, usually with a photo. I actually saw people in line ahead of Dad throwing their cards down on the pile. I asked him what that was all about, and he said that campaign materials weren’t allowed in the polling place. It was as if there was a tradition there of carrying your candidates’ materials right up to the point of prohibition, and then ritually throwing them down, a sacrifice on the altar of democracy. It fascinated me then, and still does.

  9. Okay, I loved the post, but jesus, that last part just made me laugh out loud. I almost snarfed my tea, haha.

  10. Michael M says:

    Oh yes, mark me, mark me right, there, yes, now mark me there, and there and there. Mark me like the dirty whore that I am, OH YESSSSSSSSSSS YES! YES, RIGHT THERE!


  11. kyle says:

    Michael, your ballot sounds like a closeted Republican. 😆

  12. hello negro says:

    🙂 I got my dc voting guide today too. yay! I thought that was so cute. LOL. Such a sweet image during such a heated “not nice” election season. Irony.

  13. hello negro says:

    Kyle, you are too funny!

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