Most gay men are incredibly shallow
An excerpt from another site today as I’m not feeling up to talking about how I feel. This sums it up fairly well… Just so I give proper credit, this is from my friend (well I know him from IRC anyway) Dave.
There are quite a few questions that most people have about being gay… Why are people gay? What makes someone gay? What can, or should, we do about it? I don’t claim to know the answers to these questions, but like every asshole on the face of the Earth, I have opinions.
Why am I gay? A theologian might say it’s as a test from God. A Freudian might say it’s because of my rather domineering mother. Biology and genealogy seem to indicate there are genetic and hormonal influences. Some people have claimed I’m gay because of my history of abuse, and that I just can’t comprehend not being gay. Heh. All I know is, anybody who thinks I’d CHOOSE a life this complicated is fuckin’ nuts. I’d have to say that biology made me predisposed to be gay, and that an open-minded and tolerant upbringing by my parents(whom I love dearly) allows me to accept and express it without guilt or self-loathing.
What makes me gay? I’d have to say the fact that I generally prefer men for emotional and sexual contact. Or, to put it more bluntly, I like dick. When I’m holding a man in my arms, or taking him into my body, or entering his, I feel this sense of rightness that is nearly impossible for me to explain or define. There are some who will see this as nearly sacreligious, but it’s nearly a sense of communion when I take a cock into my mouth; sex is an INCREDIBLY potent force. It can bring two people together in a way that, outside of real love, is very hard to match. In spite of that, however, I know that I, like a lot of gay men, take it far too lightly sometimes.
What should be done with us? The only thing I ask for is absolute equality. I want to be able to adopt children if I so choose, to get married and have my partnership recognized by the law, in addition to my family. To be able to visit my sick loved one in the hospital, and to have time to greive if and when they pass on. The sad thing is, these are considered “special” rights by some people.
Much more complex, however, are my feelings on the majority of other gay men. I’m in the strange position of simultaneously loathing and envying them. My office has a high queer population, and I must admit, they make delicious eye candy. However, at the same time, I hate them, because, in my experience, most gay men are incredibly shallow, and won’t give a second look to the likes of me. I know there are a fair number of gay men who aren’t blinded to the charms of non-twinks, and that chub chasers do exist, but it’s very frustrating to be yet again excluded. In grade school and high school, I was always different because of my sexuality, even if nobody knew. I knew, and that was enough. At Simon’s Rock, it was still a seperator. Now that I’m able to become a full-fledged member of gay “culture”(which is the subject of a different rant entirely), I find myself seperated yet again because I won’t yield and give up my individuality, nor will I spend hundreds of hours to force my body into a mold that persues a nearly impossible ideal.
I think my bitterness is largely a product of limited, mostly online, experience. IRC, AOL, and gay.com aren’t, I’m sure, the best ways to meet people. Perhaps when I’m old enough to legally try the bars and clubs, my opinions will change. And having some form of proper social life would help, too.
Unfortunately, being legal enough for the bars never changed my attitude on things, but *eh*. Life goes on.