… oh, great …
From Beating Job Burnout, Part II: ‘…a number of studies indicate that adults who have the fewest friendships and are least active socially are most likely to die prematurely. If that’s not enough to make you want to get out and have fun, I don’t know what is.’
Burnout is the exact word for what I’m feeling at the job lately. There’s just this one project that is the white whale or albatross of my existence. It won’t go away, and the more I meet with the project officer about it, the worse it gets, “can you add this?” “they’d like to see this added”. It went from being a simple phone directory and will probably end up being an employee portal. (it should be mentioned that everything they want in this book is already available online, they just don’t want to teach their employees to find it)
The big problem with trying to look at job sites like this is that they work fine for someone in a professional corporate environment. However as a contractor, we’re one level removed. Our grievances matter less, since as far as our bosses are concerned, if we don’t keep the flow of work coming, then the money doesn’t come. EPA employees have been heard to say things like “you’re just a contractor” or “you contractors are like dirt” with regards to us.. IN OUR PRESENCE. The feeling of being a valued employee is pretty damn hard to find. And even when I try and be professional and organized, I still have to deal with the “I don’t care what the best way to do it is, I want it done this way and I want it done now.” I’ve been called difficult to work with by my primary nemesis here for the simple reason that she asks for my professional opinion and when I give it to her, it’s not what she wants to hear. (one would think she’d stop asking)
The worst part is discussing things with my immediate boss, who has nothing to reassure me. She’s all but told me that I probably need to find another job, since things around here aren’t going to change. I guess she’s right, if you’re in the path of a speeding car and you don’t move out the way, who’s fault is it when you get run over?