I could think of 100 other places I’d rather be

Last night it hit me. I think I realize just how depressed the layoff situation has made me and how its affecting me otherwise. I could barely get to sleep, every little noise kept me awake and right now I could think of 100 other places I’d rather be than in my office cleaning it out and clearing off my computer.

I’m just feeling worthless, useless and disposable. I have yet to really see anyone face to face regarding this layoff, just letters and phone calls and emails. It hasn’t been an easy weekend, even with days off from the “hurricane” though I’ve tried my best to appear normal, some pistons in the ol’ brain are just not firing… important ones. I’m never a good depressed person because I do try to hide it behind layer upon layer, but eventually those all fall away and it’s not that I can’t cope, I just don’t want to. I can feel that time creeping up on me. I don’t particularly like it, but sometimes its just what I have to go through to get better. I’m just not a fun person to be around when it happens.