moronic or ironic?

During the past few weeks, I’ve had some serious customer service issues. But what gets me is where the training is insufficient and people can’t use their own brains to actually help the customer.. instead they go back to the script, like a line from one of those old basic programs GOTO 10;

From Verizon DSL: “Your DSL internet won’t be hooked up until ____, would you like me to e-mail you when it’s up?”
Today from Verizon: “You aren’t getting a dial tone at home and would like to forward your number? Well your line already has Call Forwarding on it… Oh. You aren’t getting a dial tone.”
From HP tech support: (after being informed that without my laptop, I have no computer) “Just check our website for the status of your repair…”

Please feel free to share any other fun and wonderful statements/experiences… it might make me feel a bit better.