When the Ending Misses (or Makes?) the Point

As noted in some other recent entries, I’ve been having thoughts about friends and making new ones, which also sort of made me confront what kind of energy doesn’t serve me in friendships and acquaintanceships.

Which, admittedly, is a really weird segue to start talking about the 1992 comedy “Death Becomes Her“. I will put this film on a lot, generally in the background while doing other things. I almost popped it on today while writing this post. And if you’ve never seen it, I can best sum it up like this…

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It follows the lives (and deaths) of two women who’ve been pretending to be friends since high school. Helen (an author) not-so-silently judging Madeline (an actress), and Madeline taking it upon herself to steal away the men in Helen’s life culminating in seducing away and marrying her fiancé Ernest. It ruins Helen’s life who is shown to suffer a decline in her mental well-being, while Madeline and Ernest (then a plastic surgeon, now a mortician) become a successful, but not happy couple.

Over time the plot revolves around both women–in the course of their mutual revenge–taking a potion promising to stop the aging process and reverse their bodies to a point of perfect youth and beauty. And then they both die, but the potion doesn’t stop working, hence the film’s title.

The movie’s ending takes place nearly 40 years into the future when Ernest has passed away and Helen and Madeline are haggard but still alive using their second-hand knowledge of Ernest’s techniques for preserving dead bodies. They attend his funeral, laughing as the eulogy speaks of Ernest finding “eternal life” through a life lived with love and purpose after refusing the potion and leaving them both. It ends on a funny note, both of them having grown to loathe the other while also only having the other for company, as a comedy pratfall causes both of their bodies to shatter into pieces. (The potion continues to work.)

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The ending matches the movie’s comedic tone, but it misses some other points raised during the film, mostly by Ernest who, when encouraged to drink the potion, asks “Then what?” about living forever. His friends and loved ones would die, the only company he would have would be Helen and Madeline, forever.

The film quickly moves past this as a ridiculous idea from a sentimental Ernest, but recently I found out that the movie’s original ending might have leaned on this point a little more heavily… except that it didn’t test well with audiences.

In an interview, Goldie Hawn talks about the original movie’s ending which was junked and re-shot. Meryl Streep, when interviewed, seemed to prefer the reshoot.

I tracked down a copy: Death Becomes Her (1992) Script w/Revision Dates (PDF) and having seen both interviews, I’ll take it on good faith that it’s accurate. It’s interesting finding movie scripts, especially knowing that scenes get cut (like the 4th ending of “Clue”) and reshot on the fly, so they aren’t any more the “true” story than the one on screen is. But this script had a LOT of things that got cut. Some interviews and footage of them are archived on the Remains of Decay YouTube channel.

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In that original ending, it’s still nearly 40 years later, but Helen and Madeline are completely unchanged. Still dead and preserved in their outward youth and beauty. And to Ernest’s point: they’re bored. They’ve done it all, seen it all and only have each other for company. And they happen to see Ernest with a woman he clearly loves, both of them now old. And Madeline scoffs, calls them pathetic, and looks to Helen to agree. And as Helen looks at them with longing, she lies, and agrees.

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As a teenager, I probably would have preferred the new ending. But as an adult, thinking about the nature of friendships, the effects of the actions you take on the world, and pursuing things that allow you to grow instead of being stuck? That original ending is speaking to me a lot more.

At my age, there are definitely days I might opt to take that potion. But would I also be stuck, frozen in my attitude and outlook? Not every experience who made me who I am was a good one, but the only way to tip those scales is to move forward past pain that no longer suits or serves me and to keep making better moments in the future.

It’s my blog, I can do what I want, so I’ll take a sidestep over to another film with Meryl Streep “The Devil Wears Prada“. Andy asks, “What if I don’t want to live the way you do?” after being told by Miranda that she has the talent to prioritize her own needs in life, even if it means screwing over her friends. Miranda was certainly successful, but at the cost of being seen as a monster, always insisting things must go her way in the name of “excellence”, even keeping lists of people loyal to her.

(Ok, Meryl Streep doesn’t always play villains, but look… iconic roles are iconic.)

Lockdown seriously messed up my brain and made me think I should accept not being treated well by people, or that people forming performative acquaintanceships because of what they could get from me or through me. So even though we haven’t completely escaped COVID, it’s coming up on Spring and Summer, and I want to not spend so much time alone in my apartment. And I don’t want all of that to be by myself. I want to make new friends, and be deliberate about personal growth.

I’ve said before, I have no idea what that looks like and sometimes it feels scary as hell at 52 years of age to text someone, “Do you want to be friends? Do you want to hang out?” But my local friends in the before times were mostly “bar friends”. So we’re all still “friends” on Facebook, even though I haven’t seen or talked to any of them in years unless it was an accidental in-passing on the street.

It’s great to have a lot of online friends, some I speak to every day in some form or another. But it’s a weird feeling to have so many friends while also feeling lonely and isolated. No, it’s not weird, it just plain sucks. So this is some work I have to do on myself, trying to figure out good local in-person spaces to be and belong, and maybe even connect with others. Heck, there have got to be some nerdy meet ups I can find at the least, right?

Much like the two endings of “Death Becomes Her” I can’t decide if I want to close out this kinda heavy entry on something poignant, or make a silly joke. Sadly I have no A/B SEO testing here to stand in for an audience, but I think I’ll just say… do something nice for yourself and treat yourself kindly, in whatever way that can manifest for you. 💖