health: “more of a nuisance”

So, following up on my visit earlier this month, I’d been to have the stitches–sutures if you’re fancy–removed and I thought I’d hear results on my biopsy at that time. This was incorrect and the doctor I saw was a little unclear on how to convey to patients the actual amount of time they might want to wait to get biopsy results. But a very nice resident surgeon did her best to keep me in the loop, which unfortunately was a call a short time later with no information. Ok, that’s not entirely true, what I got was:

Dermatological Pathology wants to run more gene tests and is sending the results to Surgical Pathology for a second opinion.¹

Crystal clear, right? Still, no info, keep waiting.

Well this afternoon I heard back from the cutaneous oncology dermatologist who I saw earlier this month and even though her initial assessment of the site when I went in to see her was, “Well I have to tell you, I’m not that impressed,”² she tells me that it is a new _-cell (B? T? D? the cell-phone connection was horrible) growth. But according to her:

Primary cutaneous follicular-centric lymphoma is more of a nuisance than a health risk.¹

(Any of these big health terms doin’ it for ya?) 🙄

I head back in for an appointment to see her this Friday and in the meantime she’s consulting with my usual oncologist to determine how we should move forward. It’s cutaneous (skin), not systemic (whole body) so she advises that there shouldn’t be as much reason to be fearful, but I suspect I’m still going to undergo some scans and treatment, most likely radiation therapy again.

So… that’s what’s up. Obviously I won’t know anything more until Friday which just gives me time to fret about the what-if’s. The anxiety is killing my mood and has all but destroyed my appetite, but not much I can do about it, really.

Mostly, I’m just tired of all this. But I am simply not afforded the luxury of being able to ignore it.