home: BUTT OUT! …please?

Good news, everyone!

If you follow me on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram¹, you’ve seen plenty of pictures of The Swanktuary Terrace–usually accompanied by a drink of some sort. This is the first time I’ve lived in an apartment that has both a loft and a patio/terrace and it’s very nice… except for one thing: BUTTS.

I don’t mean the kind of butts from neighbors that like to sun themselves in the altogether, but cigarette butts tossed from neighbors that live in apartments above me. Neighbors who probably don’t allow smoking inside their own apartments and must exile themselves and their guests to the balcony for a puff. That much, I don’t judge, but I know I am not alone in wishing that smokers would dispose of their waste products in a more considerate manner.

When Spring started to assert itself, I went out with a broom to sweep up leaves and junk and noticed there were far too many butts–and a few wrappers–in the dustpan. It even got to the point where I had the patio surface spotless one day, only to find butts and wrappers the next. And I did what most do when they have a minor gripe, I took to Twitter… and subsequently encountered an apologist.

Yes, upstairs @highlandparkdc neighbors, just keep tossing your cigarette wrappers and butts onto my patio. How LUCKY I am to live here! 😀

— Brian Gray aka ürb (@urbanbohemian) May 3, 2013

I thought it was quite a normal whine to not have to clean up after grown-ass adults who should know better how to throw their own trash away, while the–subsequently blocked–apologist thought I should instead focus on the positive and how lucky I am to live in such a great apartment building… as if the two were not mutually exclusive.² It is a lovely apartment building, but many of the residents don’t deserve to live in a place so nice.

In any case, I feel a little vindicated after seeing this memo from management yesterday morning on my way out the door. Unfortunately, I also whacked my head pretty hard into the door on my way out, so it was more a mixture of vindication and nausea… probably mostly nausea.

If you smoke, please do not throw your cigarette butts over your balcony. Please note that cigarette butts have been found on the 1st floor terraces and some of the patio furniture has gotten burn marks. We wanted to bring this matter to your attention so that this problem could be addressed in case you or your guests happen to smoke.

So not only was I not the only one with this problem, but I also can’t have been the only one to bring it up. I have no idea if this will stop the problem, but at least should it happen again, I won’t have any hesitation to bring it up to the management. And don’t even get me started on the pile of dog crap someone left in the elevator for others to walk through without even bothering to notify the concierge or cleaning staff. Living in “luxury” apartments also means you’re living with some entitled and privileged-ass muthafuggas.

But it’s Friday, the week is nearly over and I really should focus on happier things. Like getting my stitches out on Monday and finding out whether it was a pimple or a boil… or skin cancer. Right… happier things.

TGIF, y’all!