Getting My House in Order

Nothing like a good cleaning to get things nice and tidy! Except that I hate cleaning, I hate tidying, I hate chores. I accept that clutter is my default mode, although I also realize that it shouldn’t be. Not that you’ll find any dead pets under piles of old newspapers, but recently I was taken aback by a small–in both senses of the word–bug invasion1 in the kitchen. I’d move a towel: bug. I’d reach for an appliance: bug. And so on.

So I did what any normal person would do in this instance. I cleaned the countertops to shining perfection, and then covered every single surface with poison. I feel that this is a perfectly normal reaction considering my first thought was to price flamethrowers and burn. everything. Thankfully, the second option was the better one as the hatching cycle seems to have slowed or stopped, and I’ve deprived them of food sources–unless they like to eat poison, in which case I’m screwed.

But in cleaning the kitchen counters, I realized that I could do a lot better for my apartment and I tried to embark on cleaning more spaces. Partially motivated by the fact that the bugs could be hiding/nesting anywhere, but mostly that I miss seeing my place as “cleaner”. I know I’ll never have an apartment like in the magazines where it looks like no one could possibly live, eat or sleep in those spaces.2 It’s the weirdest conspiracy ever… to make me feel bad about not living in perfection.

So while I was able to scrape together a few bouts of cleaning in between work and gaming and laying down more poison for bugs, it wasn’t quite enough to get some dedicated cleaning done. I wasn’t happy or sad about it, just accepting it because I. Hate. Cleaning.

Still though, I realized I needed to do something, so after a brunch with a friend, I asked him back to mine3 to keep me company while I cleaned. It was a compromise that worked because I’m both not ashamed of my clutter, and when people are over I want to clean up. It’s the sign of a proper host! Right?

Anyway, he brought over stuff to work on, we out some movies and shows we’d seen before on the TV and he got some of his work done and I got down to cleaning. When all was said and done, I tossed out a lot of magazines and old stuff from the office, cleaned out more pantry items, took a lot of stuff to the trash room and felt a lot better for it.

I’m not finished by any means and may not be for a while, but it was nice to have some company who didn’t judge my mess and was able to handle their own stuff while I did chores.

And later, not to be a bad host, we watched Doctor Who and got takeout, and all was right with the world. Admittedly, my kitchen countertop is still covered in poison and today will be laundry day, but progress is progress! :mrgreen:

1 I refuse to say “infestation” because that’s just distressing… and gross.

2 I’m almost convinced no one does live in those apartments. That they live in a second, overcrowded and filthy place, but clean up nice and send out pictures of their “show” apartment to design magazines and apartment blogs.

3 Think clean thoughts, chum.

4 Responses

  1. I just spent four days deep cleaning my apartment.

  2. Norman says:

    I don’t understand how people can live in perfectly clean houses. I like a nice lived in house. I like clutter. I don’t like dirt and grime, but not everything has to be in its perfect place.

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