rub my lamp, baby

Just got this joke forwarded to me by my friend Sean, and had to share it…

A gay man was walking along the beach when he stumbled upon Genie’s lamp. He picked it up, rubbed it, and lo-and-behold a Genie appeared. The amazed man asked if he got three wishes.

The Genie said, “Girl, get a grip! Due to inflation, constant downsizing, low wages in third-world countries, my new pumps pinching my big toes, and fierce global competition, I can only grant you one wish. So…what’ll it be? Jeff Stryker videos, a 2 ft dildo, a copy of the Marilyn Monroe Happy Birthday Mr. President Sequined dress in your size with matching shoes?”

The man didn’t hesitate. He said, “I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other.”

The Genie looked at the map and Shrieked “Miss Thang, I don’t think so, not in this lifetime !! These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I’m good but not THAT good! I don’t think it can be done. Make another wish!”

The man thought for a minute and said, “Well, I’ve never been able to find the right guy. You know, one that’s considerate and fun, warm and affectionate, gorgeous, only wants sex from me, doesn’t do drugs or drink, has a great job with good income, likes to cook and helps with the housecleaning, gets along with my family, doesn’t watch sports all the time, tells me I always look fabulous and am great in bed. That’s what I wish for…the perfect guy to have as a lover.”

The Genie let out a long sigh, clutched his hand to his heart and said, “Miss Thang, let me see that map again.”