Yes, again. Ok, so I hung out with Michael. At one point in the car he says “I really want to lick you.” Bad choice of words, but the essential idea was that being around me caused him to want to be ‘close’ to me. Which I’m not doing. Both him and Adam are cut off right now, not ‘cos they forgot my birthday, but I’ve always been one to stay involved in things because I’m more scared of causing someone else hurt and pain and not too concerned with the fact that I’m in a situation I don’t want to be in.
So with Michael and Adam. I don’t want to date them, I don’t want them for boyfriends, so I’m not going to do anything to keep up that pretense or even encourage them in that direction.
But today, Michael was just totally pathetic. I asked him if he was sleepy at one point ‘cos he kept lolling his head about and slumping, he says “No, I’m just angst-ridden.” And he kept driving like a total asshole, lane changes without signals, racing through yellow lights, tailgating and totally road raging. At a few points I was just gonna tell him to just let me out and I’d find my own way home.
Finally I started back home and he left me voice mail on my cell phone that I was being “difficult” by not communicating. I’m still really pissed about it and I’m hoping I don’t have to spend the whole night at home by myself, but if Shawn’s not in the mood to do anything, then I’ll probably just hang out here and watch the tube.