an open letter…

To the deities presiding over the consumption of caffeine…

Jeus or Caffinor as some call you. I am extremely disheartened by your cruel and wicked games. Just as I decide to re-embrace perhaps one or two Mountain Dew or Vanilla Pepsi sodas a week into my life, you allow the company that lords over the vending machine in the building to raise the price from $1 to $1.25! Why hast thou forsaken me?!

And this is between yesterday and today, damnit. I had just figured out that with the new iTunes game with Pepsi, that approx. one out of every two bottles should be a winner (1 in 3 is a song code, 1 in 6 is a BOGO soda). And everyone is certainly willing to wander out with the most ratty and crinkled bill in their wallet or purse to sacrifice it to the machine, but I go today to get a little caff with my lunch and they jacked up the price!! Bitches. Muthafuggas. Pimps. I’m going back to 80 cent liter bottles of flavored sparkling water from the Safeway. Up thine.

On an unrelated note, can we stop using the word ghetto? It’s not a PC term, but people use it in ways that say, “I’m saying ghetto but you know what I mean.” We were discussing supermarkets in the office the other day and my blonde-haired, blue-eyed co-worker (bless her heart) referred to one store as kinda ghetto. Now I’ve used the term before, but usually it follows gay, and I was pleased when we started calling them boom boxes again. Hm, I think I also used sci-fi ghetto, talking about actors being typecast too.

The evening after this happened at the office, my friend Jenifer pointed out that white trash, which I am very guilty of using, isn’t any different in the way its used, so I plan to stop saying that, too. The last time I used it was when I was trying not to say “Bumfuck Virgina Racist” about a woman we bowl with.. and I really should have just said what I meant.

Its that last point that gets me. She said the supermarket was ghetto, he said the bar was ghetto, that neighborhood is ghetto (not a ghetto, mind you, just ghetto). I have no idea what people mean when they say it. Run-down? Filled with shady characters? Full of those people, you know who I mean…

steps off the soap box now and goes back to drinking his Fanta

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1 Response

  1. September 18, 2005

    […] As I said before, there are certain things that I just don’t think people should say, but I don’t feel that people should police themselves all the time, everywhere. But maybe just think about what you’re saying before you say it.. instead of trying to play the clueless card. Personally, I’m always on the side of people can say whatever people want to say, but it is irresponsible of them to be unaware of how others might react (like the young ‘redneck’ Jacksonville kid). […]

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