40: the big (?) four-oh…

As I just received what is likely my last birthday gift this past weekend, I suppose I can safely say that birthday time has now ended. Especially as all of my grandparents have passed, so there won’t be any strangely belated birthday gifts given at Christmas because someone forgot to give them my latest address.1

So now, nearly 2 months into 40, I realize that for all the drama a gay man should probably feel as he approaches that number, I handled it well for the most part. That was probably helped by the unfortunate fact that most of the well-wishes were virtual. Tweets, texts, Facebook wall posts, etc. but not much in the way of “Hey, let’s go out and celebrate!” If not for a happy hour with some co-workers, it would have been spent mostly on my own. The boy and I had broken up shortly beforehand–great timing, I know–so while I did have some company, it was… weird.

Still, given the year that was 39, I don’t really know what I should have expected, but seeing as I haven’t sat down to write lately, I think I’ll do a small series of posts reflecting at 40.  Don’t worry, this won’t be hugely introspective, but I feel that one can only tell so much about people via social media2 unless they make an effort to dig beneath the surface.  I started this blog in my–wow–20s and it was always meant to be a personal journal that initially was private, but as the internet advanced, became more public.  I’ve been missing using it as a place to say things that can’t be summed up in 140 characters or express feelings that demand more feedback than “Liked this” and I’ve missed writing.

40 is definitely one of those milestones where some people can’t help looking back at what brought them to where they then find themselves: choices, changes, etc. So there will be some of that in the next few days (weeks?) along with a return to more regular posting (I hope) because it’s getting colder and darker and what the hell else is there for me to do? 😉

So Happy Thorsday, and stay tuned!

1 I realize that this is probably less about forgetfulness than it is the fact that I seem to move… a lot. My last two addresses (renting) have only lasted one or two lease cycles.

2 I think we’ve all gotten very good at crafting our online personae, perhaps a little too good.

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2 Responses

  1. Esprix says:

    Divorce aside, my 40’s have been better than my 30’s, which were better than my 20’s. I’m looking forward to 90. 🙂

  2. BustersDad says:

    I am sorry to hear about the break-up and the proximity to your 40th birthday. They are not fun no matter when they happen.

    I would like to share what my mother’s words of advice on my 39th birthday. “39 sucks. 40 is much better.”

    I have no idea why she decided to impart this wisdom on my 39th birthday instead of using it reassuringly on my 40th. However, she was absolutely right.

    My 39th year did suck in general and there was the constant pall of 40’s arrival always in the wings. However, when I reached 40 and realized that the shadow was gone. I had made it and it felt good. I then realized that 40 was not bad at all.

    I hope that sometime in the near future you will arrive at the same conclusion.

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