Happy Star Trek First Contact Day! Let’s Talk About Q

On a recent Twitch stream, I was playing Placid Plastic Duck Simulator and talking about whatever came to mind, as I do, and two ducks passing by each other reminded me of a Star Trek moment because of course it did.

My friend Val, who just happens to be a recently published author, was in chat and it’s their first time watching Star Trek: The Next Generation and the topic of what exactly Q wants from Picard came up and I had fun little ramble about it.

[As a “fireworks” duck got closer to a “sparkler” duck…]

From Star Trek: The Next Generation. Q is whispering in Picard's ear as Picard looks on.

Oh, so close! 

It’s very similar to… you know Q in “All Good Things,” when he talks about the protoplasm that was going to be humans and he’s saying, “Closer, and closer, and closer… Oh, they didn’t do it.”

Q in my opinion absolutely wants to bone Picard, and I mean boning in a “literary” sense where he just wants Picard to say that he likes him and admit that he’s kind of right sometimes.

But also bone him.

And the way that you know he wants to bone him is that he doesn’t use his powers to convince him of anything. He doesn’t use his powers to basically just make him do it, you know?

What I do find funny is that Q has never used his powers to just force people to do stuff, with the exception of giving Data the ability to laugh for a second. He’s never used his powers to influence minds and I’m guessing that’s because he probably finds that boring. Like it’s more fun to play with people and see what they do versus just making them do what you want.

Although, I’m sure that he had a youthful state where he did make everybody do what he wanted and he was like, “Okay this is boring.”

But yeah he absolutely does [want to bone Picard]. He wants the crew and Picard, especially, to admit that we’re friends, admit that you like me, and admit that sometimes I’m kind of right.

And then we can bone.

From Star Trek: Picard. Q is mocking Picard about the situation he's put him into as Picard looks on, shocked.

I know [spacevalkyries] is not watching Star Trek: Picard yet, and when you do there is an entire… well… Q does get involved in Star Trek: Picard, and there is a very tender moment when Q essentially says, “You’re my friend. And I am trying to, in my own weird way, take care of you.” 

And it is very emotionally compromising to the tear ducts.

But yeah Q is that friend that does not understa– Q is that friend that a lot of friend groups have that doesn’t understand how to be friends but really, really wants to be friends. 

And sometimes you can take that person aside and you can say, “Too much. Dial it down.” And sometimes you can’t, and then you just get annoyed every time that person shows up.

And that is how Q really comes across to me. It’s like he doesn’t understand how to engage with people, and he keeps trying and people are just like, “Ok, oh fuck, it’s him again.” 

And Q really doesn’t understand it because he has expanded perceptions and senses and abilities. And you know essentially when you’re somebody who can see and know all the secrets of the universe? Something as simple as “Wait, how do you make friends?” has got to be both  unfathomable to you and also infinitely frustrating.

You know, when you just show up and do what you want and everyone just says, “Fine, ugh!” And then you decide, “Wait, I actually kind of want people to think I’m okay,” and they don’t.

It’s got to be frustrating. 

So Q’s answer is: well I’m just going to show up and cause more havoc.

That’s not the answer, Q. Not the answer, nope not at all. Nope.

So, yeah, it’s an interesting thing. And they do touch on that, and as a first-time viewer, you’re picking that up exactly right.

From Star Trek: The Next Generation. Q, dressed in regal robes taunts Picard as crew members Tasha Yar and Deanna Troi look stunned.

Because even the very first time they encountered Q was “Encounter at Farpoint” and the entire time Q is saying, “Hey. Hey. This entire star base…” or I don’t know what it was. It wasn’t really a star base, I can’t remember what exactly they called it but it was a base of some kind floating in space.

The entire time Q was sitting there like, “Hey. Hey. This base? Is actually a captured alien, and I’m not going to tell you that, but I want you to figure it out. And I’m going to be really annoying until you do. But I’m not going to tell you. I’m just gonna keep nudging at you until you figure it out. And I’m gonna pretend like I’m gonna kill you if you don’t figure it out, but you’re gonna figure it out, and I know you’re gonna figure it out because I can probably see through time and know that that’s going to happen but until you do I’m going to be really fucking annoying about it.”

I sometimes say that I shouldn’t be allowed to say whatever comes to mind on the internet, but I’m ok with this ramble. I hope everyone has a wonderful First Contact Day, regardless of which universe you’re in.


Live long and prosper, everyone! 🖖🏿💖

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