never stop, never givin’ up…
My manager never gives up on finding a winning cap on his diet cokes, the sadness of the whole thing is that even when he DOES find a winner, it’s hard for him to find a place that will redeem the free liter offer. But there are times in life, that even when we know the odds and know that those odds are totally bogus, we still persist.
Take me for example, the other evening I called Jake (don’t hit me til I hit send, please!) and left him voice mail. I blame Jill Scott since she has a song about an ex that every time I hear it, I think of him. Now I know he probably won’t call me back and that I’ve put up with the same in the past, but this time (at least I say this now) I really am making a mental stand. Mainly ‘cos I don’t want another few weeks/months of waiting by the phone, making plans that never materialize or making plans where HE never materializes. I can’t deny that I still have strong feelings for him, and he’s said that he has them for me, but my brain can no longer deal with the non-sense of him never trying to keep in touch.
And like the song goes, I just remember what we used to do.. and I miss that, not just with Jake but other ex’s as well. I know some of them read my journal, I get the odd evite from them, some still e-mail me or just message blitz me, and maybe that’s the extent of “safe distance” – I certainly assume that if they wanted more than disconnected virtual interaction, they’d just say so, otherwise it just begs the question of why do they maintain any kind of contact at all?
Then again, I probably only keep thinking about ex’s because it’s safe. My own current dating life isn’t really taking off, though my social life isn’t lacking for things to keep me busy. The weather’s getting nicer, which is good aside from the occasional allergy attack and the farmer’s markets have started up again, yay!
Still, it’d be nice to have someone to share it all with.