This is SO my day
Dear Condo Board:
Thank you so much for deciding to turn off the air conditioning today, the outside temperature of 81°, much higher than is normal for this time of the year, will be reflected within our homes all the more. Perhaps this is meant to make us appreciate the hot sweltering days of summer that are now past. Being on the top floor, I get full advantage of all the heat rising from the floors below to the point where my apartment is currently a sauna! This will make it so efficient to do my chores and cooking this evening as I will be able to shed gallons of sweat from the slightest bit of activity.
Additional thanks must be given for the decision to switch the building over to heat 5 days from now, when it will be a very brisk 72° outside and the evenings are expected to drop all the way into the low 60s! Just as my apartment might be relinquishing some of its stored up heat, this will make it much easier for me to maintain the hot breezes and ever present perspiration that can only be found in the best of steam rooms.
Do be sure to stop by as I’ll be featuring either a eucalyptus or lavender scented steam over hot rocks. Don’t forget your towel!Your ever-glistening tenant,