Lolly, Lolly, Lolly, Get Your Hot Takes Here!
Who out there is ready to write a “hot takes” redux of Schoolhouse Rock’s “Lolly, Lolly, Lolly, Get Your Adverbs Here!”? You know we’re just rife with opportunity…
Imagine it:
Come on down to Lolly’s,
get the [hot takes] here!
You’re going to need
If you write or read,
Or even think about it.…
If it’s a [hot take], we have it at Lolly’s! Bring along your old [hot takes], too… We’ll fit ’em out with our [think piece] attachment and make perfectly good [hot takes] out of them!
Seriously, it’s just begging to be written.
And just in case you’ve been under a rock, or miraculously without internet access for the past few years or so…
A hot take is a journalism term derisively used to describe a “piece of deliberately provocative commentary that is based almost entirely on shallow moralizing” in response to a news story, “usually written on tight deadlines with little research or reporting, and even less thought”.
In any case, parody writers, start your engines!1 TGIF, y’all. 
1 Notepads? Typewriters? Tape recorders? Word Processors? Whatever.
I’d read the hell out of the HOT TAKERY, seriously.
I did not know what a hot take was till now. Thank you, this is awesome. We also need Schoolhouse Rock, for So Many People.