Resilience: A Black Lives Matter Mix

I haven’t written much (here) about Black Lives Matter because I don’t always feel like I have the right words, and I’ll admit, I’m a little afraid of trolls, and maybe that’s not exactly what my blog has been about for the past year or so. I try to keep it light, because that’s what people expect. Even though anyone who knows me has to know it affects me.

But I’m also about self-care, and it’s hard to read these headlines over and over. To wake up to a new hashtag signifying another death. One place I find solace is in art, especially music. And one thing that has really been difficult to find is the outlet I used to turn to to get things “right” in my head: going out dancing.

This isn’t to say that I can’t go out dancing in DC, there are places for that. But no local DJ at the gay venues, as far as I know, has really put together a night to honor, reflect, release emotions, anything that’s clearly about what’s happening in our world. It’s no secret that our enclaves are dwindling, but as was noted in the wake of the Pulse shooting in Orlando, these clubs are our safe havens. Maybe it’s because I live in DC, we can be more sheltered than other cities, and more privileged as our need for safe havens and gayborhoods has lessened.

Got inspired to make a mix in support of Black Lives Matter this afternoon. Music has always been my salvation during dark times and it was cathartic making this mix after this really depressing week. Give it a spin because #BlackLivesMatter #TerenceCrutcher — [Greg Scarnici/Facebook]

Still though, music and dance was always the way I was able to get out and get over the feelings I had no words for. Lost in music, surrounded by your actual peers, people who maybe feel what you feel now and then. So I was very happy when Facebook friend Greg Scarnici — gay jack-off of all trades — posted a link to a mix he made.

The mix puts together some older and classic tracks, but there are plenty of new protest songs if the here and now is more your speed. But listening to the mix took me back to some better days, nights spent dancing and sweating out my feelings. Yes, there was still racism, and yes, there was still homophobia, but for that night, those 4 or 5 hours, you were surrounded by friends, familiar faces and love.

I don’t know if things will ever be all right again. I say again, I guess I really just mean when they’ll finally be all right. Because they’re not all right now and they haven’t been for a long time. Take care of yourselves out there, everyone.