On the elevator: Eminent Domain

Get on the elevator with my morning coffee and doughnut a minute ago. I see another person waiting, so I trip the sensor to give them time to get on. I’ve already pressed the button for the 5th floor, he presses the one for the 4th floor.

time passes…

him: “You work for [office]? You on the 4th floor?”

me: “No, I’m on 5,” as I look down at the buttons, my floor being right next to the one he called for.

him: some rambling about how the office I work for took over all the floors…

me: speechless, wondering if humans are ok

I often joke that I’m not nice, and I don’t like people. It’s not really true, but I am not a small talker. I generally don’t bother others unless I need to tell them something, or in the rare occasion when I’m maybe trying to flirt with someone. So anything beyond “hello” or “good morning” on the office elevator is honestly beyond me, especially when I haven’t had my coffee yet.

As I type this, another co-worker has passed by our cube farm singing, to himself, loudly. So much so that another co-worker trying to get his attention had to scream his name, repeatedly from across the floor. And I’m just like… is it any wonder I don’t talk to people here? People are the worst.

Still though, seeing someone with morning snacks, press an elevator floor and then asking them if they work on a different floor takes the cake this morning, or at the least, takes the doughnut.