New Year, Same Old, Less Stuff…

That’s what it feels like, really, the alternate title for this entry was: Out with the Old, Nah! to the New… because December 31st passed right along into January 1st without much fanfare and definitely not feeling like anything new.

Come on, Brian, it’s 2024, you should be making changes and resolutions and starting new habits and hobbies, etc. but… nah. Having maintained a modicum of “stay home, stay safe” since COVID isn’t going away anytime soon, I’ve barely folded in new activities outside of some travel for creative work, so there wasn’t a big Christmas or New Year’s celebration. Just the usual.

It’s not as if nothing’s changed. As of January 1, I’m with a new employer–same work though, because that’s how contracting goes. And I have found myself idly musing this or that change, but nothing major. But I am embracing “out with the old” more and more, as I think I’ve gotten tired of being a stuff-haver.

Talked to a friend about this the other night. Coming home from #PAXUnplugged, I didn't buy anything.

I'm no longer a "buy stuff to have stuff" person. I'm actively trying to donate/toss/give away things now.

So giving me a thing I didn't ask for/don't want is… no, please. 🎁

— Brian Gray 🪩🥂💖 (@urbanbohemian) December 15, 2023

Not a hoarder, exactly, at least not the compulsive definition… anymore. I definitely had a problem throwing things away that I’ve hopefully gotten past. But I still have a lot of stuff. Some of it’s sentimental, some are gifts, some are things that get daily use. But beyond that, late 2023 into 2024, I realized I just need to divest myself of a bunch of it.

But then I run into the problem of, “This is still good, I can’t throw it away,” which has always stopped me in the past. In the way of positive reinforcement, I ask myself, “But can you possibly use all these things? Have you even touched this lately?” And for the more morbid reinforcement, “If you died tomorrow, this would all just be stuff for someone to clean up and they probably won’t care what it meant to you.”

That second one stings a bit, no lie. But it’s much more in line with how I have to splash cold water on my face and really evaluate the “stuff to junk ratio”. I don’t live in a house, it’s a small apartment. I don’t have a car or a storage unit, there’s nowhere to put stuff but to stack it up and watch my floor space slowly get eaten up. I’ve developed cat-like grace to be able to walk around some days.

And it’s not just things I’ve owned, more and more of it is product testing & swag, I’m finding. Working with companies is fantastic. I get to try and use a product, they get someone who streams and posts on social media to showcase the product. But after a while, I only need so many mics or headsets. Or goodness forbid, another coffee mug I don’t need or extra-large t-shirt I’ll never wear. I’ve gotten far less guilty about throwing those things away, or donating the clothing.

So what’s it’s mean right now? Well, today for instance, I’ve actually found the crevice tool for my vacuum cleaner and am un-dusting carpet edges and corners while throwing shirts into “keep or toss” piles. I confess some clothing is all about sentimental value, but those are going into vacuum storage bags and added as “to review” agenda items 6 months from now.

I have been fascinated by the idea of a capsule wardrobe, and since I’m not going into an office every day, it’s harder to get my mind around, but I am taking a look at my casual clothes and realizing what I really wear in a 2-week period vs. what ends up staying on the hangar, and the latter things are gonna be laundered and donated.

It sucks to think, “But I bought this, it’s still good!” and I have to reconfigure my brain to realize that it is, and I will send it into the universe, hopefully for someone else who needs it. It made me happy, even if that happy moment was just taking the tags off and putting it in the closet–never to be looked at again. Those brain chemicals did their job, and maybe next time I can just go for a walk in the park, or look at a sunset, or take myself out to a nice dinner with cocktails.

So hopefully no one from A&E will need to show up at my door, but frankly I wouldn’t mind if they did ‘cos I could use a team with a truck to get some of this shit out of here. Calling a “we haul stuff away” company is on the list for Q1. I’m not going to beat myself up about it, or feel embarrassed because I know I’m not alone in this. Maybe some day I’ll unpack where these tendencies come from, family, life experience, etc. but not today.

If I can be honest, what I’m most embarrassed by isn’t the sheer amount of stuff I have and have yet to bag and toss/donate… it’s that it’s taken me until 17 days into the new year to add something to this blog! I have so many things to share and I will try to do better, speaking of New Year’s habits.

I hope that 2024 is treating you well so far. If you wanted to make changes, I hope the habits are forming. And if you’re just coasting this year, keep on keeping on! More from me soon! 💖