You took a sip, from the devil’s cup

I was talking to a friend a little while ago about how it takes much more evergy and effort to remain nice and polite, basically to be “the nice guy,” and how much it can suck. Manners get confused with breeding and are generally believed to be something to make one appear proper and upstanding in the eyes of others, when more to the point, manners are to make others feel more comfortable in various situations. I guess over time it may have a cumulative effect of resembling breeding, but more or less it just makes someone “the nice guy”

Many situations arise where I’ve decided to be “nice.” To not make waves, to do my best to be flexible and open-minded, or at least give the appearance of such. Thankfully this has never put me in a situation I didn’t want to be in, since it’s just as easy to politely excuse oneself from something as it is to stay mired in it. Occasionally certain situations I’m “done” with, and certain people are taken “off the list.” Which is about as kindly as I can say “you’re dead to me” without sounding like a Mafia Don.

But I wanted to write about men.. or perhaps boys, and their antics.

Most recently I had to take someone “off the list.” This guy was a real winner, a little odd like most of the guys I find interesting, we met at bowling ages ago and one of my BFFs disapproved (I should have listened). So we hung out for a cuddle date which got up to a little more than cuddling and it was fun and all. We IMd back and forth, set up another night to do a slumber party, and on the night of, he drove into the city, it was pretty late at night, called to say he was nearby and was stopping for a bite to eat. Actually the phone call was more like “I’m at this street, how much farther? God I’m hungry, can you tell me what’s open this time of night? Oh maybe that Pizza Hut is open, oh they’re closing, maybe I can get them to make me a pie real quick…,” truly scintillating conversation, I assure you.

So he stopped to park at the Pizza Hut, which is perhaps 3-4 blocks from my place, got his food, got back in his car and proceeded to drive around to look for closer parking! Now I believe this was around midnight or so, and nearly anyone knows that when you come into DC that late at night, parking is a nightmare, so find something, put your car there, and just walk. No.. he keeps on driving around, calling me a few times to whine about being unable to find anywhere. I refrain from telling him again that he was already 4 blocks from my place because I’m being nice. Then the kicker, after another 20 mins or so, he calls me to say that he’s on his way back to Virginia and that he’s sorry.

Now that didn’t put him off the list, because I’m such a nice guy. However it did cause me to be really short with him in IMs, not that he seems to speak the English language in them anyway, which is odd since he’s a part-time ESL teacher. I refused all invites to get together, primarily because they were only ever “come over to my place.” And just this past Sunday or Monday he invited me out bowling, complaining that I always snub his invites. And I told him that frankly I didn’t think he was reliable, we had little in common and he still has the shadow of standing me up when he was right outside my place looming over him.

To that he responds, “Whatever.” No wait, in IM he actually said, “//” in true Clueless fashion, which I realized was the perfect way to describe him and as such, off the list.

Another tale to come, I’m feeling a bit rambly today.