FML: shoulda worn jeans

This was not a good start to my morning...

Due to gamer’ish activities last night, I was up and running a little later than usual today. No big deal, the office would keep and I wasn’t late, so I wasn’t moving at top speed. Took care of my ablutions, touched up a shirt with the iron, grabbed my snacks*, nearly all set!

Last step: shoes**. I sat down to slip them on and I hear a sound that I have never heard in person, but a lifetime of canned sound effects on television shows alerted me to what it was: RIIIIIIIIP!

Initially I had a Cleveland in the tub moment, “No no no no no NO!” But then I regained my composure and started laughing about it. The slacks are, in all honesty, fairly old and technically worn, they’ve just held up very well. It wasn’t my ass, but the effect of the passage of time on the seams. The next logical thing to do, after picking a new pair of trousers, was to take pictures.

New fetish office wear?

The best part is now they resemble a sort of office fetish wear. Crotchless khaki slacks, anyone? Let the guys at the water cooler know that you’re always up for a nooner!

As it’s Friday, I really should have worn jeans. Our office dress code doesn’t really allow it, but for some reason they never want to enforce it. We’re business casual but looking around today, I’ve seen t-shirts, cargo pants, sneakers & timbs. When I throw jeans on, I still dandy it up*** so I wouldn’t have to hide from our clients–who often dress far worse than us.

And a final though: The Hawaiian shirts? The white socks w/ brown loafers? That shit’s gotta stop. Sadly, that combo wasn’t seen today, oh no. It was last Tuesday. 🙄

* I finally remembered to bring in some banana bread for breakfast. Mmm, Friday morning sweets!

** OMG, shoes! And oh yes, these shoes rule.

*** I am gay, after all.

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5 Responses

  1. Patrick says:

    Dude that’s hilarious. Always up for a nooner made me lol out loud.

  2. Brian says:

    At least it happened before you left the house. I’ve had it happen at work.

  3. Herb says:

    I believe I have seen those pants in the International Male catalog before.

    latest entry: Peaches and Herb One More Tme!

  4. Esprix says:

    I can hear you channeling Cleveland. 😀

    latest entry: Really?

  1. August 15, 2015

    […] thought I’d already had my proper FML moment of the year when I experienced a pants malfunction before leaving the house for work. Oh no, Fate was just warming up for something even better! For […]

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