doom: imminent

Sunday wasn’t all that bad, mainly stayed in house, worked on laundry and stuff. Called Joe, (someone that answered my ad) but he was out, and we ended up talking later that night. I was teetering on the verge of being lonely and not lonely, listened to music most all day, didn’t turn the TV on at all until late. It was cooling down outside and I ran a few errands at WalMart, mainly to get detergent. Finally got rid of those leftovers, 5 days is long enough to eat a pasta dish. I really must learn to cook less, or at least make things that will keep longer. Tonight’s creation will be soup, I think, with some salad, and perhaps a cheesecake if I can find a good lower in fat recipe for one.

Anyway, later on Sunday, I got into a real mood about friends and apparent friends and my lack of friends, and just got into this feeling where I don’t know who I can trust anymore and who I can’t. I hate listing and relisting friends in various categories, but I’m not someone that can just shrug off when someone’s being an ass and pretending not to notice it. M-D called me and told me he ran into Edwin the other night, who was drunk and semi-badmouthing me that I don’t ever want to do anything. He neglected to include the fact that when I tell him to call me, he completely fails to do so, so I never actually KNOW what’s going on. Additionally I thought of C who still hasn’t apologized (believably) or explained himself regarding our conversation, and hell on Friday he called me up and says “What are you doing tonight? Would you like to have dinner… and then take me to Union Station?” As if now I’m his taxi service, when we haven’t seen each other or spoken in maybe a week’s time? *hmph* I might see if placing ads in the paper for just friends, actually works. Otherwise I don’t know what to do.

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