The centre cannot hold

Sometime over a year ago, a friend that I hadn’t spoken to in a while called me up and said that while friendships are fluid and do come to an end that he wasn’t ready for that to happen yet. I was a little surprised, but thought it was kinda cool. From that, we ended up chatting more and hanging out more.

Other times, though, things change and people change and friendships do suffer and end. Not necessarily due to any drama, they just do. People’s lives move in different directions and drift apart.

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That scene from Torchwood is a little extreme, but a bit apt. Actually for some of the friends and people I’ve known it’s very apt. There are events that take place in one’s life and the lives of one’s friends and they are recognizable points for divergence and if attention isn’t paid, people just drift apart. Sometimes it’s noticed in time to do something about it, and other times not. If it’s noticed too late, then neither party is very good at pinpointing the reasons for it and blame is laid, often at the feet of the other person when perhaps both are at fault.

In two recent cases in my past, the finger always seemed to be pointed at me because it was convenient, but I got sick of being dumped on and decide to let people believe whatever they need to believe. As such there are things I miss doing, people I miss seeing, but when the hassles of hanging out with someone far outweigh the fun of it, it’s easy to make the decision to let sleeping dogs lie.

I’m being deliberately vague because I don’t need even more drama, but lately I’ve wondered if I just need to get myself a pet just so I’ll have someone that has to hang out with me. 😛

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2 Responses

  1. shindo says:

    The vagueness is fine. Specifics may make for more fun reading, but the generality is relatable. I’ve been there, done that with some friends as well. It’s not fun at all.

    Perhaps keep the pets out of the mammalian family, as they are very high maintenance and require commitment. Just my take.

  2. kyle says:

    Of course I recommend cats. They don’t require the twice-daily walkies, and they strike a good balance between totally needy and totally aloof. No cat I’ve had has ever given me as much drama as the men in my life.

    DC is tough for friends. Most simply move away. Others simply drift away due to changing priorities. I wonder at the small groups of old friends you sometimes see brunching together on 17th Street. What bound them together? The shared traumas of the 80’s and early 90’s? Simply having a shared long history? I envy them. I wonder whether I even have what it takes. I need friends badly, but I also need so much alone time that I have to be careful to strike the right balance. Plus, one of my hang-ups is calling people – probably a self-esteem thing.