ups and downs

Writing about the good things first… I had a great time on Friday night hanging with Jhim, CJ, Mike and Michael, we hit Halo then Omega then Apex and danced the night away, along with a great karaoke performance of “Like a Virgin”, I stumbled in the door around 1:30 or so I think and promptly passed out. Tonight Jenifer and I hit a party over in Dupont, where someone actually caught on fire, briefly (yes flaming queen jokes were all over the place) then we went to Apex for ladies night and more dancing, complete with a cab ride home and the guy had halloween candy in the back so the cab smelled of Jolly Ranchers.

Now there’s the usual bad stuff associated with going out, drinking a little too much, seeing cute guys that pay you no mind, or in my usual case, seeing cute guys that do give me a little bit of attention… which is a guarantee that the two of them will be making out/hooking up by the end of the evening (and tonight was no exception), leaving the club feeling old, undesirable and unattractive is pretty common for me. Only the company saves the experiences from being total letdowns, and since dancing generally doesn’t wear me out at all, just clears my head of the booze, I take away crystal clear memories of the evening… nice.

This morning I had another nail in the coffin of, “what’s the deal, am I that unlikable?” A friend IMd me, it’s rare this friend initiates the IM and its usually to tell me that he’s recovering from the previous night’s merriment, this time wasn’t an exception. But then he says that last night’s fun was from a bar/strip club crawl for his birthday. I expressed a bit of dissatisfaction at not being invited, I wasn’t attempting to start up any drama, I just didn’t think it would be out of line to expect to be asked to join him on his birthday. Now he did say that he wasn’t the party planner, but still when my last roommate was planning a surprise party for me, he told me absolutely nothing about it, except he did ask early on that if I were inviting people, who would they be? — so it’s just a little, I dunno how I feel about it exactly, kinda upset. Well earlier I was VERY upset, so I guess kinda is an improvement.

I love my friends dearly, just lately some of them have been firmly holding their place in the unreliable/flaky/half-assed category. And one wonders how long one can continue to deal with that before they start to become seldom-seen friends.

But for now, I have Dr. Who to watch and gradually fall asleep on, and that is good.