dating: It’s been one week…

I can handle flaky, some people thrive on being flaky while others exhibit it to such a degree that everyone else around them consciously or subconsciously works to pick up the slack. Mistakes are ignored, fatal slips are instantly forgiven and it just becomes a known that said person is flaky. And like I said, I can handle flaky, to an extent, I just need to do my research first to know how flaky the crust is before I try to turn it into a pie.

Last Sunday I was to have brunch with this guy, we’d met through friends and met up for one-on-one outings twice before. I admit that I am still a little shaky as to whether these were dates or not, but it seemed to be progressing nicely enough that it wasn’t yet a huge concern. That morning, I lost track of time (thank you TiVo and twitter) and ended up running a wee bit late, then as we were down to one elevator that day, I thought I was running even later. I sent a text advising that I might be late and finally got down to the street and started walking. The place was just down in Adams Morgan so I didn’t expect to be too late, really. I didn’t get a text message back, so I assumed that he was either on his way or already there.

At brunch

I got to the restaurant, on time actually, and he wasn’t there. I figured if I was running late, perhaps he was as well and I waited a bit, walked within a 1/2 block to look around and came back and still nothing. No text message, no call, nada. I normally like to wait for my dining companions before heading into a restaurant, especially in DC where many places make you wait anyway. The place looked pretty empty, so playing against type, I got a table for two–actually the maitre’d didn’t understand me and gave me a table for four–and sat down. It was about :05 after by now, and in the past this person had a habit of being a little late, so once again against my better judgement, I ordered a mimosa and continued to wait, telling the server that I was going to wait until the other person showed to order.

Another 10 minutes or so passed and I called and left a message asking to call me back and let me know what was up. One of my occasional failings is that I can be too nice, so I was ready to be understanding if there was an overslept or inability to get a bus/cab or whatever. However, as there had been no text message and no call and no show, my patience was wearing thin. Not even two minutes after I called and left voicemail, I get a text message, not a call, a text message. The gist of the message was that he’d been sick most of the night, thought he might be able to make it but was mistaken. “I will call later to try and reschedule.” I sent back a very terse, “Ok” and motioned for the server, explained that my friend would not be joining me and apologized.

Now, I don’t mind dining alone, but in this instance I couldn’t help feeling a little bit of the burn of clearly being seated at a table meant for more than just one and after not even 15-20 minutes and only one drink ordered, leaving on my own. I didn’t leave in a huff, but often my facial expressions betray exactly what’s on my mind. Due to the ambiguity of his message, I did delay my meal at home for a little while, but eventually gave up on hearing from him, had something to eat and got on with my day. Since I was looking forward to a week off from work, it didn’t bother me nearly as much as it should have, but still what the hell, man?

It has been a week since, and I haven’t heard word one from this guy and at this point I don’t expect to. It’s a bit disappointing, but more because it’s nice to think that someone’s interested in you and then to see that they haven’t got themselves together enough to seem concerned. At the least about respecting you, but more importantly not offending you! But… c’est la vie and lesson learned, right?

French Toast at Busboys and Poets

In contrast, this morning’s brunch at Busboys and Poets was… at least relatively on time. I met a friend that was running late (and let me know) and when he got there told me that he’d overslept. We had a delightful time, though the food there has never impressed me very much and today was no exception. The service was friendly, but a little on the slow side. Come to think of it, that’s pretty much descriptive of every visit I’ve had to this location. It ain’t great, but it ain’t crap either. They could certainly do well to improve the quality of their menu, but I wonder if the rise in prices would turn away their core customer demographic.

I’m glad we have another day to the weekend, but it will be hard to head back to the office after so much time off. Now if we can just blow through the rest of this “regular August” weather and get back our nice Fall temps, I’ll be a very happy man. 🙂

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8 Responses

  1. Derrick says:

    Me and you, we got a lot in common with our dating lives, no? First of all, my sympathies, but I guess its good to know now before things even get started, what you’d be in for, that way you can nip it in the bud and move on. Of course, that’s easy for ME to say. But just as I haven’t given up on the prospect of love, I dare say that you haven’t either. Our guys are out there. And as fervently as we’re looking for them, they’re looking for us with equal enthusiasm. I tell myself to hang in there, and be a good person, do good things, be kind to people, and like they say, we’ll find each other when we least expect it. I offer you the same consideration.

    Thanks for sharing, B.

  2. JNez says:

    i remember the disappointment in your tweet from last sunday when dude stood you up. i’ve been on both sides of that experience so i can relate. hope it just gets better now.

  3. Di says:

    What a dork that guy is. You’re clearly not missing out – interested flakes are not any better than uninterested ones.

  4. pyack says:

    You’re not flaking on me, are you? Sorry that you realized what I did long ago about our gay brothers– they flake, they’re generally late for everything and most are unapologetic. All three are pretty unacceptable, and it’s good that this happened early on in a relationship– now you know the kind of person you were dealing with.

  5. Esprix says:

    Jeez, and I thought things were bad in San Diego. East coast guys always struck me as a tad more honest, if not reliable.

    Meh, time to move on. Plenty of other boys out there who appreciate the geek who is you! 🙂

  6. lacochran says:

    I wouldn’t take it personally but I wouldn’t expect anything more from this guy either. Sounds like he doesn’t have his act together and, good for you, you do! Go out there and find the person who deserves you! Not some shmoe!

  7. kyle says:

    You know that I am not Pyack’s booster boy – and after how many LI iced teas I’m even less so – but my brother-in-arms you know he speaks the truth just this time. Your awaited-one is not worthy and you fortunately learned sooner than later. Peace, good riddance, and onto the next phase, step, whatever…

  1. September 1, 2008

    […] Urbanbohemian nails is when he says fatal slips are instantly forgiven , but what about the rest of us? Not to get to emo, but Hoobastank pled: “Tell me what […]

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